Sunday, 7 November 2010


Farrah wanted details about Emmet’s experience with hydrocele, and for my reference too.

I first noticed Emmet’s scrotums were beginning to become less symmetrical when he was just over 1 year old. I didn’t take much notice of them since he wasn’t in any pain or having any other alarming symptoms. He was not even bothered by the condition.

Months went by and his right side scrotum were becoming larger until it stopped growing at a point. It was so significant I had to do something about it. You know internet could be a scary place to seek such information. I googled and the word HERNIA keeps popping up and hernia is scary. I almost panicked.

After a few days of research and asking medical student friends over to have a look (Thank you Kojek and Shira), I calmed down, but still took Emmet to the Temple Street Children’s Hospital A&E for further assesment. One look under the pen lights, the Doctor immediately diagnosed it as hydrocele. Which was good news for me since it was not hernia. Hydrocele is just clear fluid that find way into the scrotum through an opening which is supposed to close before a baby reach his first year. But when bits from the bowel find way into the sac as well, infection is most likely to happen which will lead to swelling, fever, redness and other symptoms. That is hernia. Information about hernia you can find here. I guess the Malays call it air pasang. I’m not so sure. But I heard it can be cured without surgery by traditional practitioners. I think it involves massage.

They booked Emmet for an appointment with the surgical team for surgery before sending us home, relieved. The surgical team saw us and set a date for a surgery. On the day of the surgery, I brought Emmet to the day ward. Saw the surgeon who interviewed me more, a nurse did another interview, and the anesthetist came for another interview, all asking more or less the same questions. I found out later that the same thing happens in hospitals in Malaysia. It is so annoying being asked the same question when everything was actually accessible through Emmet’s medical record. I guess annoying patient’s mom is a lot easier than studying a patient’s medical history..

That was why I was so upset when the surgical team sent us home because they are afraid to operate on Emmet due to his long list of food allergies. I was thinking the anesthetist looked unhappy when I asked him will he know what to do if Emmet happens to have a reaction during the surgery. I asked him a lot of question actually. I wanted to know the risk. So they asked me to complete a blood test for allergies at Emmet’s GP, and it can’t be done at that hospital. Which is unbelievable since it was after all, a hospital. To make matters worse, when I went to the GP, she didn’t agree with the hospital despite not being able to read the surgeon’s hand-written letter (Microsoft Word hello??? Or even Notepad!). So the hospital said the GP does blood tests and the GP said the hospital usually does blood test. I even had to ask for a letter from the surgeon before going to the GP. How would I know what to say to the GP. Unbelievable.

The GP was kind enough to sort it out for me. She immediately called the hospital and demanded to speak directly with the surgeon. The surgeon decided…………let’s wait until the kid is 2 years old because hey who knows the hydrocele will be magically gone by then! The hospital will call you back to set the next appointment. Unbelievable!

I never heard from the surgeons again.

Until I got pregnant and came back to Malaysia and made a new appointment at the PPUM for this. I had to go through everything again. But the surgery got called off the second time due to Emmet having flu-like symptoms. One thing I learned about hospitals especially surgeons, was when they say they will call you back, they actually mean you should call back and keep calling back until you can get to them. I waited one year for them to call me back with countless attempts to get them over the phone, only to be greeted by noncholant nurses who make empty promises. I had to call and make a new appointment at the paeds clinic and go through the whole thing again for the 3rd time.

Despite my bebelan about this, I am thankful to all parties who contributed to the success of the surgery, even if it’s a minor. Emmet’s scrotum is back to normal, and he is even circumcised.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Emmet's 1st Saloon Haircut

There we were on the eve of Raya at a saloon in Kota Bharu. I needed to get a haircut so badly since three months ago. But this time Emmet joined in the fun!

He was so cooperative. He stood very still throughout the haircut. He even fell asleep sometime in the middle of it all. My husband requested the stylist to suggest a look for Emmet. She replied "Rambut dia sangat kerinting loorrr... buat macam mana pun takde guna".


Sorry baby, you hair is so cute to the max they couldn't be made any cuter...

Sunday, 19 September 2010


After having had Sofia, her milestones didn’t excite me that much. I remember my husband and I were delighted at every sign of intelligence that Emmet portrayed in his milestones. I guess I just knew what to expect this time around. Unless Sofia starts to read a dictionary tomorrow, I’ll just watch her grow at her own pace.

Getting used to Emmet’s allergies has taken its toll on me. I am paranoid over reading packaging labels especially when buying food for Emmet. Most of the time I prepare his meal. But when travelling, I need to get instant meal and I’ve gotten used to trying out numerous types and brands until I finally settled on pure instant baby rice (read ingredients: rice, thiamine), original nestum and instant oatmeal. He was a happy baby when stuffed those. But Sofia has a different palate.

Now it’s déjà vu all over again when travelling with Sofia. It’s not like she has as many food allergies as Emmet, I was just too afraid to buy anything that Emmet is allergic to. One of the reason is I’m afraid Emmet might get excited over Sofia’s uncommon looking food and touch them, and there will be another episode of clean-up before you know it, I’ll be caught in a middle of a drama.

Oh I will humour you with the whole scenario. Emmet will touch Sofia’s food, he’ll scratch here and there (because he’s always scratching) and he’ll touch his eyes and elbows and the back of his knees as well as neck. Those places will go red. His eyes will be red before they are swollen. He’ll cough and wheeze and on the verge of an asthma attack.

Emmet with swollen eyes and face

I will notice the rashes. Stop feeding hungry Sofia. Grab Emmet to wash all contaminated places with lot’s of water, keeping in mind to scrub my hands first because I might just touch a bit of Sofia’s food just now. A shower for Emmet if necessary. Sofia will be abandoned at last place to be seen, screaming and crying for me or probably tugging on my pants by now. But Emmet is priority at that moment. After washing up, he will get two puffs of ventoline for his wheezing. Wait for 20-30 seconds for him to breathe in the inhaler. Then only I can continue with Sofia’s meal.

If Sofia was in a messy meal, I need to clean her up well as well as the messy area very quickly before Emmet goes touching the contaminated places. Sofia’s hands might come in contact with her mouth too. I need to remember what else she touches afterwards and clean those up too. Emmet loves hugging and playing with her so Sofia being clean from allergens is very essential.

Another dillemma of buying instant food for Sofia is of course the long list of ingredients that local brands (read Nestle) offer. I can only find imported products with the list of ingredients that looks believable (but ouch! Makes a whole in your wallet). Reading Nestle ingredients was a horrific and traumatic experience for me. Too long a list and I don’t even know most of them.

Travelling to Kota Bharu for raya recently was a perfect example on the hardship we endured on this issue. Emmet ended up peeking at Sofia’s instant food every 5 seconds and constantly hovering me with annoying repeated questions about the new discovery. The food we bought were not even to her likings. They ended up in the hotel mini fridge and Sofia ended up with a pair of swollen eyes on the eve of raya. I ended up cooking two batches of Sofia’s meal for 4 days stock at my IL’s.

We didn’t actually know if Sofia is allergic to the instant food since there were too many new allergens she was exposed to. It could be the cat’s hair at my IL’s, or probably the dirty hotel carpet or the heavily bleached linen. But she was put on anti-histamine by the local GP until her eyes were back to normal. The doctor and I agreed we were more bothered by her swollen eyes than Sofia herself. She wasn’t cranky and slept well during the whole night. She even woke me up with her cheerful smile, plus the super sepet eyes.

The sepet Sofia on raya eve

Maybe I need to get a small ice box so I can store Sofia’s frozen food when travelling. But I doubt my husband would favour an extra luggage that’s going to be pretty heavy. Until then, I would continue trying some more instant baby food on Sofia that I find appropriate. Must keep trying...

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Hydrocele and Herniotomy (and Circumcision)

Us right before going into the OT

Emmet has been having hydrocele since he was about 1 year old. The first attempt at surgery was when he was about 2 years old when we were still living in Dublin. We were already at the day ward when the surgical team sent us back for allergy blood test. The second attempt was in PPUM, that failed too because Emmet was having flu-like symptom.

Waiting for calls from the surgical team both in Dublin and PPUM was like menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba. I made numerous calls asking the surgeon to call me to set a new date only to be greeted by empty promises to call back. After a year of waiting, I decided to make a new appointment with the surgical clinic. I took the earliest date possible, 1 September 2010, despite it falling in the month of Ramadhan. I did not want to delay any further.

We checked in on the 30th August for assesment and blood test. Then checked in again the day after, awaiting for surgery the next morning. My mom came from Taiping to accompany Emmet at night. I had to be home to take care of Sofia.

Emmet was calm throughout the whole ordeal. He didn’t even cry during the blood extraction. He was as cheerful as ever. I accompanied him to the OT and came out right after he was put to sleep, which took him about 5 seconds and a big wide yawn.

My mom, my husband and myself waited outside the OT for about 2 hours before the surgeon called me in. Emmet was still sleepy so I let him sleep and called my husband in to stay with Emmet while I care for Sofia at the waiting area.

Emmet returned to the day ward a while later and had to have a dose of painkiller which was quite a struggle. But he was bubbly as himself again when Daddy awarded him with a NERF gun.

Oh and he was circumcised too! That was the one that hurt! But he never cried. We convinced him to pee in the evening so that he didn’t have to spend another night at the ward. He was afraid but once we put him on the toilet seat, he couldn’t hold it much longer and found out the pain wasn’t that bad.
Emmet after surgery at home

His Daddy carried him to the car all the way from the ward. When we reached home he was playing and running again. He only dreaded applying the antibiotic ointment everytime after going to the toilet.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Happy 4th Birthday Emmet!

Me: What is your name?
Emmet: My name is Emmet Khairul Rizal! (clap clap clap)
Me: How old are you?
Emmet: 4 years old!

The picture above was taken immediately after his afternoon nap dengan muka mamainye. But as I mentioned a candle and an oreo, hence the happy face above...

We started off the day with me efficiently baking him his chocolate cake. Yes I made them quite often until I actually memorized the recipe and can mix it in 10 minutes, the time it takes to preheat the oven. That efficient!

Then I felt like making pulut kuning as per tradition of the malays. Why pulut kuning? I think it's because Pulut kuning is considered a special dish for malays back then when the westerners have yet to corrupt us with cakes and candles. Just felt like going traditional once a while.

But nowadays pulut kuning is so boring. So I style them up as in the picture below. Now we're talking pulut that I actually can't wait to put into my mouth! I only have ikan masin in my fridge and I was too many ingredients short to make rendang or serunding. Ikan masin will do. I saved four pices and sent the rest of 2 pots to my sister's office.

Then I brought Emmet to play at McDonalds Kota Damansara while having his lunch (bubur ayam McD). He was so happy playing with this girl, siap hold hands lagi. But the girl was a bit moody (hhmm...kecik2 lagi dah tunjuk. heheh). Well you could say the same with Emmet because when I saw him suddenly went chasing a kid and hit him, that's it, time out! He cried and begged me to let him stay and play. But a rule is a rule honey. Fair play!

Back at home he took a nap while I shot pictures of my masterpieces. We went to pick Daddy up and Daddy picked up Emmet's bicycle, a present from Aunty San Hung and Uncle Hairul! It was awesome. He had to cry before going to bed. Biasa la accompanied with other dramas. Uncle Lutfi pun ada awesome gift which is a tabung! Now Emmet can collect all coins lying around the house and keep them safely because Daddy is too loaded to be using coins. Maybe his wallet doesn't have coin zipper. How can I not know this? Well anyway, the tabung is a big red cat that meows at every drop of coin. Awesome isn't it!

And just this morning he suddenly said to me, "Mommy, Emmet nak pegi sekolah!"

Happy 4th Birthday Emmet!

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Why did I decide to have children

My depressed neighbour comes to my place almost everyday, except on weekends. She is a 62 year old woman with no husband nor children. She is terribly lonely and longs for an immediate family. She wished there would be a person willing to live in her flat and keep her company. She felt she has made a mistake by not wanting a family when she had the chance. Now it’s too late.

I’ve thought about this when I was in college, single and apparently not interested in boys. Even though I have many friends, sometimes I did feel lonely. It’s a terrible feeling. So I decided I want a husband and a family with children so that I’ll never be lonely.

My DH once said one child is enough, he didn’t think he could handle more. But I don’t want to end up like her aunt, a single mum who recently lost her teenage daughter, her only child, in a car accident. Now she’s all alone, at least living with my IL. Though I truly admired her faith in God and she accepted fate with grace. I don’t think I could handle it as well as she did. My mom lost her husband, but she still have us children.

I want more children so that when they grow up, raya time would be so merry. When my children have their own children, it will even be merrier.

Most importantly, I want more children so that they can pray for me. I am a sinner. I hope at least with my children’s prayers, I’ll be forgiven and sent to heaven.

I love being a mom. Even now when Sofia is just 4 months old, I secretly wished I was expecting again. I love babies now. They just grow up so quickly. I get more emotional now when I hear news about child abuse and buang bayi. I almost wished those poor babies were sent to my doorstep so that I can take care of them.

My cousins used to send their kids to my aunt when they were working. Some left their children on weekdays and came back on weekends. I was in high school then. My aunt took care about 8 grandchildren and she was always complaining to my mom about how tired she was and how her children are not giving money for formula and diapers. My poor aunt. So I made a vow to myself to take care of my own children, insya Allah. I didn’t have the heart to burden my mom like that.

Maybe this entry is in conjuction with Mother’s Day recently. Being a housewife is so exhausting. But being a mother is so overwhelming with joy every day. So how can I let myself have a ME time when the thought of that alone feels like I’m committing a crime to my children. I feel as if having a ME time means neglecting my children. Let alone having a career where my children will be seeing their carers more than they see me. Maybe I am overprotective. But I believe in the saying, bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

Emmet will start school in another one or two years. I’m excited he will start a new milestone in his life. But I’m so going to miss him. He will be busy having friends and classes and might not want to see me that much anymore. His friends would be his idol then. So please God let me enjoy him to the fullest or another one or two years. Love you cheeky kids!

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Tag of Husband

Tag tag tag. This is all your fault Farrah.

So here's the tag about the husband.

1. Where and when did you first meet your hubby?
Subang Parade 1998 (I think so). His cousin (who was my senior in high school) and I made plans to meet. He tagged along and I brought my friend, Yoes. Only then did I found out that he is also my high school senior.

2. Love at first sight?
No. Maybe for him. But Yoes and I agreed that he was kinda cute.

3. Who is he when the first time you met him?
A cousin of my senior who tagged along and seemed to just discover that McD chocolate sundae is good. He bought another one.

4. How long did he take to ask you out?
Maybe 2 years. I cannot remember. I declined.

5. First place dating?
I cannot remember! Arrgghh! Maybe at the hotel beside the Pudu Bus Station (sounds kinky). I was at the hotel for exam papers markings. I was a lecturer then.

6. How did he proposed?
Never. He just assumed we were getting married.

7. Special dates with your hubby?
1 January 2003. I decided he can TRY to be my boyfriend.

8. Changes that he asked you to do?
Waah! I hate this tag! Changes... He wants me to wear sexier clothes, makeups and be so girly2 as in high heels, designer handbags, flawless skin, red lips, blue eyes, accessories ok... Oh and public display of affection! Sigh! Salah orang kot dia ni.

9. What's about him that you love so much?
I don't like this tag.

His CONFIDENCE. I don't know if it's just me but his level of confidence blows up to the sky and like Buzz Lightyear always say, to infinity and beyond! It's written all over his face. After a while from our 2nd meeting in Melaka, I decided to call him just to say hello. He went straight up and said he liked me eversince high school and would like me to be his girlfriend. Just like that.

He's romantic and loving and constantly showers me with hugs and kisses. I think Emmet has had enough when one day we heard him said "Cukup! Cukup!". LOL. We are not allowed to do that anymore in front of Emmet.

He's really smart in a dumb way. Not sure how to explain that. His knowledge about everything is vast. Yet he remains oblivious to the simplest things, like how to dry clothes. I love it when he talk smart. I no longer need to read the news.

10. What's abt him you wish he would change?
Let me know when he is going out instead of 'B, Najib takkan naik jadi PM la kalau bla bla bla...' then Bam! goes the door.

Put the toilet seat down. Squeeze from the bottom of the toothpaste. Do not overload the waching machine. Don't be a vampire on weekends. Emmet needs to be creamed after bath. Stop buying stuff. Stay out of my kitchen!

11. You will lose your mind and crack your head when he....
says "B! tengok ni..." when Emmet is misbehaving. Exactly like what you report to your Mom when your sister hit you or something, you'd say "Mak! Tengok kakak ni!" Aarrgghh!

12. You will smile through your eyes for the whole day when he.....
lets me take a long nap and do all house chores to my standard!

13. Complete the sentence below.
My love towards my hubby is as big as his. Hehe!

No further tagging please

Monday, 1 March 2010

The joy of baking

And I thought I wouldn't have time for myself... this is what happened while Sofia was taking her morning nap...

I have always loved baking. Even when I was in Dublin, I would make my own bread because the chef made it look like it's so easy. Indeed it is... Plus Emmet loves it.

And in conjunction with my ambitious plan to lose weight and to save money, I made a tuna salad sandwich with my own bread.

And I thought I wouldn't have the time for all this with the two kids...

500g flour
4 tsp instant yeast
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp sugar
50ml olive oil
300ml warm water
some dried rosemary/thyme/oregano whatever you fancy

-mix all and work the dough for a few minutes
-rest 20 minutes
-work the dough for a few minutes again with some flour
-oil and flour the loaf tin
-rest the dough in the loaf tin for another 20 minutes. score some lines if you like.
-bake in preheated oven of 250 celcius for 10-15 minutes

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Cloth Diapering Sofia: Back to the old days

I don’t know how this is going to last. But at least it’s a start for me. These are the reasons I started cloth diapering Sofia.

1. I really need to save money.
2. I decided I want to be kinder to the planet, while praying the state government maintains it’s policy on water bills or makes it better by giving free water!
3. Disposable diapers are expensive in Malaysia.
4. Encouragement and support from my mother.
5. I thought it will be easier to dry them here rather than in Dublin.

I started off the 2nd week after Sofia was born. Or was it earlier? Hmm…can’t seem to recall. My cloth diapering might not be the same as the other ‘modern’ CD that has been the craze of young mothers nowadays. My kind of CD is way more traditional back to the days I have been brought up to by my mother. I just cannot afford the modern CDs now. Maybe I will try and buy one soon.

So this is really a super budget way to CD Sofia at least. But there are more super budget ways to do this. I saw on the net these people actually cut out old t-shirts to be used as pre-folds which is brilliant! I would go to that extend if I were in Taiping where all my family’s old clothes are still kept by my mom (who usually used them as kain buruk). Since I am short of them here in KD, I just bought a dozen of those muslin squares from Anakku. I already have half a dozen from Emmet’s unused stash before.

One-way liners
Throw in a pack of 5-piece of these tie pants or ‘seluar getah’ as my mom called them. Also by Anakku.

And a couple of snappi…

And this is how I do it

Yea, I know... I could do it more neatly but this isn't the time. I usually use up about 6 or 7 of these pre-folds per day. I change her right after she woke up from her nap, change her again before her next nap. Here’s my weakness – I still use disposable diapers at night for Sofia. But hey, we can’t be perfect at this.

When my mom was around, she hand-washed everything right after Sofia was changed. I couldn’t possibly do that. So what I’m doing now is dump all wet and dirty nappies and liners into a pail, tie pants into another pail. I throw away the dirty liners anyway.

The next morning after I woke up, I straight away put all the nappies and liners into the washing machine and rinse and drain once with plain water. Then I set the machine to regular wash and put about ¼ of a cap of detergent.

If I have the time, I hand-wash the tie pants. If I don’t, all tie pants go into the machine for a while with a little detergent. Line dry at the balcony for about an hour in the sun and reuse them!

I feel great. I have been meaning to do this for a long time. And thanks to Sofia and my mom, I hope I can keep doing this and improve myself. I still have a long way to go but it feels as good to take that first step. And with Emmet finally diaperless now, I don’t have to continue feeling guilty most of the time I throw away a dirty nappy into the bin. A good pat on my own shoulder.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

This is Sofia

Fresh from my tummy

Emmet visiting at the hospital

Emmet kacau while breastfeeding

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

The day Sofia was born

It was on Thursday, 7 January 2010. I was already two days overdue, but I knew it will be soon, probably in another day or two. But I was so hoping it would be Thursday since nothing went on on Wednesday and Rizal was supposed to go outstation from Thursday until Saturday evening. And I highly doubt that I am able to wait until Saturday evening. I didn’t want to be alone without my husband in the labour room.

I woke up at 3.45am having the urge to go to the loo as usual. And also due to the back ache. After a visit to the loo I went back to my bed with a few of those strong menstrual cramps. I sat on the bed trying to be quiet while easing off the pain. But Rizal woke up asking how I was. I just waved him off to sleep again saying it was just those dummy contractions I’ve been having for the past 5 days.

Him: Dah nak letak beg dalam kereta ke? (Been asking this every time I had those dummy contractions at night)
Me: Blom lagi, lambat lagi kot. Tapi rasanya macam beranak hari ni la. Tido dulu la.

I was planning to go back to sleep but when I stood up I saw a stain on the bed, in the dark. So I sniffed at it and it smelt like blood. I went out and turned on the bathroom lights to examine my undies. Sure thing it was some bloody show. I went back into the bedroom and woke Rizal.

Me: Ok Rizal, boleh la get ready sekarang. Dah ada darah keluar, so kene pegi hospital ni. Tapi Lily nak mandi dulu.

The cramps were exactly like quite bad menstrual cramps, but I was still ok about it, it didn’t bother me much. So I went for a quick shower, thinking I might not have the energy to shower after I deliver and I need to shower because I have been sweating heavily all night and I just want to feel fresher.

Woke up my mom and she recites some Quran verses to a glass of water and asked me to drink it which I did obediently. While waiting for my husband to get ready, I paced around the tiny flat reciting some verses from the Quran and some zikir to go with them. At 5am we were off to the hospital, which was about 3 minute drive from our flat. The emergency reception was empty so the staff were happy to admit me. They even insisted I relax on the wheelchair when I told them I was ok to walk. In fact I did want to walk to help ease the cramps. But I gave in to their request, feeling a bit odd sitting in the wheelchair.

I was immediately admitted to the labour room. The lovely staff were introduced and I was asked to change to the hospital gown. Some chit chat went on while they were wiring me to the CTG and stuff. I politely declined all painkillers and pain reliefs saying it didn’t help me with the 1st child. But still I had to decline the gas twice when the nurse wasn’t convinced I can stand the pain.

The contractions were getting stronger. I lost track of time since I can’t see the clock behind me. But there came to a point when all I wanted to do was breathe in and out fast. And I had to turn to my side to ease the cramps. I was also holding on tight to the handle beside the bed, waving off Rizal’s offer of his hand. But I can still talk through the contractions.

The nurses were starting to panic. They were supposed to change shifts at 7am. The doctor hasn’t arrived yet. And I’m already 5cm dilated. So the nurses kept telling me not to push yet (like I can control that!).

Nurse: Ada rasa macam mau push ka?
Me: Sekarang ada sikit-sikit
Nurse: Ah you jangan push lagi ok. Take deep breath in, deep breath out ok. (to the other nurse) haiyaa where is Dr. Fidak? Have you tried calling her again?

At the third urge of pushing, I really can’t hold it much longer. I told the nurse, “Nurse, now I really feel like pushing”. With my body still on my side, try as best as I could to hold it, legs closed together, I tightened my vagina muscles, but still a gush of fluid went out of me.

Nurse1: (to nurse2) Aiyoh, she pushed…
Nurse2: Looks like meconium. Try calling Dr Fidak again lor… (to me) You don’t push now ok.

Then Nurse1 was showing Nurse2 this amazing technique to ease the pain and help fight the contraction so that the baby’s head will not come out. With one hand she held the maternity pad tightly against my vagina, and with the other hand she rubbed the bone of one side of my bum in circular motion. I tell you it felt soooooo gooooood… Beats all the other pain reliefs. So a nurse did that to me while waiting for the doctor to arrive, which was shortly afterwards.

By the time the doctor arrived, I really felt like pushing so bad. While the other nurse was preparing the bed and the others for the delivery, the other nurse was… I don’t know what she was thinking.

Nurse: Eh you take in some gas la ok girl. It will make you feel better. Less painful. Ok ha… (went to a cabinet and retrieved the tube and mask).

I thought I made it clear I didn’t want any gas or pain relief. But I was so concentrating to the contractions I just couldn’t say anything at that time.

Nurse: Nah husband, you help her with the gas ok, put at her mouth.

(There goes RM30 for the gas, which I inhaled only once and indeed, it did not help at all.)

So I bring myself into position. The doctor recites some doa. I tried pushing once. Nothing came out. I tried the second time, concentrating on my perineum area. It was a long push and a long contraction. I squeezed in another push in that contraction and the head came out. I was so relieved….

The rest of the body slides out, I didn’t even have to push for it. The baby was placed on my tummy and I could see a beautiful long and slim baby girl crying out for me. This time I got to touch her and enjoy her fresh. Unlike Emmet, I was too tired to even look at him then. But this time, I really enjoyed the moment.

I ended up with an episiotomy which the doctor took care of while the nurses took care of the baby. I chatted with Rizal and the doctor while waiting. I felt tired yet excited that it was all over and in a very short time. The whole pushing took like 5 minutes.

But after I was stitched up. I felt this mentrual cramps again. It was like a really bad cramp where you can’t stand the pain and I immediately asked for a painkiller. The doctor gave me a petadine shot and I dozed off shortly after. But just for about 20 minutes. They need to get me out of the room to the ward. The nurse offered to change the pad and put on my undies. But instead I asked her if I could take a shower first. Which seemed to surprised her and caught her off guard. She insisted on helping me change into fresh undies and for me not to get off the bed for I could pass out.

So, still in the same bed, I was pushed from the labour room up to the maternity ward. My baby was brought in shortly by the nurse for her first feed. That’s when Rizal and I gave her name….Sofia.

I thank God for her, for my husband who was there beside me all the way, who said he was proud of me, for my mom who took care of Emmet and prayers from dear friends who showed concern throughout my pregnancy. I am so blessed…