Wednesday, 27 January 2010

The day Sofia was born

It was on Thursday, 7 January 2010. I was already two days overdue, but I knew it will be soon, probably in another day or two. But I was so hoping it would be Thursday since nothing went on on Wednesday and Rizal was supposed to go outstation from Thursday until Saturday evening. And I highly doubt that I am able to wait until Saturday evening. I didn’t want to be alone without my husband in the labour room.

I woke up at 3.45am having the urge to go to the loo as usual. And also due to the back ache. After a visit to the loo I went back to my bed with a few of those strong menstrual cramps. I sat on the bed trying to be quiet while easing off the pain. But Rizal woke up asking how I was. I just waved him off to sleep again saying it was just those dummy contractions I’ve been having for the past 5 days.

Him: Dah nak letak beg dalam kereta ke? (Been asking this every time I had those dummy contractions at night)
Me: Blom lagi, lambat lagi kot. Tapi rasanya macam beranak hari ni la. Tido dulu la.

I was planning to go back to sleep but when I stood up I saw a stain on the bed, in the dark. So I sniffed at it and it smelt like blood. I went out and turned on the bathroom lights to examine my undies. Sure thing it was some bloody show. I went back into the bedroom and woke Rizal.

Me: Ok Rizal, boleh la get ready sekarang. Dah ada darah keluar, so kene pegi hospital ni. Tapi Lily nak mandi dulu.

The cramps were exactly like quite bad menstrual cramps, but I was still ok about it, it didn’t bother me much. So I went for a quick shower, thinking I might not have the energy to shower after I deliver and I need to shower because I have been sweating heavily all night and I just want to feel fresher.

Woke up my mom and she recites some Quran verses to a glass of water and asked me to drink it which I did obediently. While waiting for my husband to get ready, I paced around the tiny flat reciting some verses from the Quran and some zikir to go with them. At 5am we were off to the hospital, which was about 3 minute drive from our flat. The emergency reception was empty so the staff were happy to admit me. They even insisted I relax on the wheelchair when I told them I was ok to walk. In fact I did want to walk to help ease the cramps. But I gave in to their request, feeling a bit odd sitting in the wheelchair.

I was immediately admitted to the labour room. The lovely staff were introduced and I was asked to change to the hospital gown. Some chit chat went on while they were wiring me to the CTG and stuff. I politely declined all painkillers and pain reliefs saying it didn’t help me with the 1st child. But still I had to decline the gas twice when the nurse wasn’t convinced I can stand the pain.

The contractions were getting stronger. I lost track of time since I can’t see the clock behind me. But there came to a point when all I wanted to do was breathe in and out fast. And I had to turn to my side to ease the cramps. I was also holding on tight to the handle beside the bed, waving off Rizal’s offer of his hand. But I can still talk through the contractions.

The nurses were starting to panic. They were supposed to change shifts at 7am. The doctor hasn’t arrived yet. And I’m already 5cm dilated. So the nurses kept telling me not to push yet (like I can control that!).

Nurse: Ada rasa macam mau push ka?
Me: Sekarang ada sikit-sikit
Nurse: Ah you jangan push lagi ok. Take deep breath in, deep breath out ok. (to the other nurse) haiyaa where is Dr. Fidak? Have you tried calling her again?

At the third urge of pushing, I really can’t hold it much longer. I told the nurse, “Nurse, now I really feel like pushing”. With my body still on my side, try as best as I could to hold it, legs closed together, I tightened my vagina muscles, but still a gush of fluid went out of me.

Nurse1: (to nurse2) Aiyoh, she pushed…
Nurse2: Looks like meconium. Try calling Dr Fidak again lor… (to me) You don’t push now ok.

Then Nurse1 was showing Nurse2 this amazing technique to ease the pain and help fight the contraction so that the baby’s head will not come out. With one hand she held the maternity pad tightly against my vagina, and with the other hand she rubbed the bone of one side of my bum in circular motion. I tell you it felt soooooo gooooood… Beats all the other pain reliefs. So a nurse did that to me while waiting for the doctor to arrive, which was shortly afterwards.

By the time the doctor arrived, I really felt like pushing so bad. While the other nurse was preparing the bed and the others for the delivery, the other nurse was… I don’t know what she was thinking.

Nurse: Eh you take in some gas la ok girl. It will make you feel better. Less painful. Ok ha… (went to a cabinet and retrieved the tube and mask).

I thought I made it clear I didn’t want any gas or pain relief. But I was so concentrating to the contractions I just couldn’t say anything at that time.

Nurse: Nah husband, you help her with the gas ok, put at her mouth.

(There goes RM30 for the gas, which I inhaled only once and indeed, it did not help at all.)

So I bring myself into position. The doctor recites some doa. I tried pushing once. Nothing came out. I tried the second time, concentrating on my perineum area. It was a long push and a long contraction. I squeezed in another push in that contraction and the head came out. I was so relieved….

The rest of the body slides out, I didn’t even have to push for it. The baby was placed on my tummy and I could see a beautiful long and slim baby girl crying out for me. This time I got to touch her and enjoy her fresh. Unlike Emmet, I was too tired to even look at him then. But this time, I really enjoyed the moment.

I ended up with an episiotomy which the doctor took care of while the nurses took care of the baby. I chatted with Rizal and the doctor while waiting. I felt tired yet excited that it was all over and in a very short time. The whole pushing took like 5 minutes.

But after I was stitched up. I felt this mentrual cramps again. It was like a really bad cramp where you can’t stand the pain and I immediately asked for a painkiller. The doctor gave me a petadine shot and I dozed off shortly after. But just for about 20 minutes. They need to get me out of the room to the ward. The nurse offered to change the pad and put on my undies. But instead I asked her if I could take a shower first. Which seemed to surprised her and caught her off guard. She insisted on helping me change into fresh undies and for me not to get off the bed for I could pass out.

So, still in the same bed, I was pushed from the labour room up to the maternity ward. My baby was brought in shortly by the nurse for her first feed. That’s when Rizal and I gave her name….Sofia.

I thank God for her, for my husband who was there beside me all the way, who said he was proud of me, for my mom who took care of Emmet and prayers from dear friends who showed concern throughout my pregnancy. I am so blessed…