Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Why did I decide to have children

My depressed neighbour comes to my place almost everyday, except on weekends. She is a 62 year old woman with no husband nor children. She is terribly lonely and longs for an immediate family. She wished there would be a person willing to live in her flat and keep her company. She felt she has made a mistake by not wanting a family when she had the chance. Now it’s too late.

I’ve thought about this when I was in college, single and apparently not interested in boys. Even though I have many friends, sometimes I did feel lonely. It’s a terrible feeling. So I decided I want a husband and a family with children so that I’ll never be lonely.

My DH once said one child is enough, he didn’t think he could handle more. But I don’t want to end up like her aunt, a single mum who recently lost her teenage daughter, her only child, in a car accident. Now she’s all alone, at least living with my IL. Though I truly admired her faith in God and she accepted fate with grace. I don’t think I could handle it as well as she did. My mom lost her husband, but she still have us children.

I want more children so that when they grow up, raya time would be so merry. When my children have their own children, it will even be merrier.

Most importantly, I want more children so that they can pray for me. I am a sinner. I hope at least with my children’s prayers, I’ll be forgiven and sent to heaven.

I love being a mom. Even now when Sofia is just 4 months old, I secretly wished I was expecting again. I love babies now. They just grow up so quickly. I get more emotional now when I hear news about child abuse and buang bayi. I almost wished those poor babies were sent to my doorstep so that I can take care of them.

My cousins used to send their kids to my aunt when they were working. Some left their children on weekdays and came back on weekends. I was in high school then. My aunt took care about 8 grandchildren and she was always complaining to my mom about how tired she was and how her children are not giving money for formula and diapers. My poor aunt. So I made a vow to myself to take care of my own children, insya Allah. I didn’t have the heart to burden my mom like that.

Maybe this entry is in conjuction with Mother’s Day recently. Being a housewife is so exhausting. But being a mother is so overwhelming with joy every day. So how can I let myself have a ME time when the thought of that alone feels like I’m committing a crime to my children. I feel as if having a ME time means neglecting my children. Let alone having a career where my children will be seeing their carers more than they see me. Maybe I am overprotective. But I believe in the saying, bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

Emmet will start school in another one or two years. I’m excited he will start a new milestone in his life. But I’m so going to miss him. He will be busy having friends and classes and might not want to see me that much anymore. His friends would be his idol then. So please God let me enjoy him to the fullest or another one or two years. Love you cheeky kids!

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Tag of Husband

Tag tag tag. This is all your fault Farrah.

So here's the tag about the husband.

1. Where and when did you first meet your hubby?
Subang Parade 1998 (I think so). His cousin (who was my senior in high school) and I made plans to meet. He tagged along and I brought my friend, Yoes. Only then did I found out that he is also my high school senior.

2. Love at first sight?
No. Maybe for him. But Yoes and I agreed that he was kinda cute.

3. Who is he when the first time you met him?
A cousin of my senior who tagged along and seemed to just discover that McD chocolate sundae is good. He bought another one.

4. How long did he take to ask you out?
Maybe 2 years. I cannot remember. I declined.

5. First place dating?
I cannot remember! Arrgghh! Maybe at the hotel beside the Pudu Bus Station (sounds kinky). I was at the hotel for exam papers markings. I was a lecturer then.

6. How did he proposed?
Never. He just assumed we were getting married.

7. Special dates with your hubby?
1 January 2003. I decided he can TRY to be my boyfriend.

8. Changes that he asked you to do?
Waah! I hate this tag! Changes... He wants me to wear sexier clothes, makeups and be so girly2 as in high heels, designer handbags, flawless skin, red lips, blue eyes, accessories ok... Oh and public display of affection! Sigh! Salah orang kot dia ni.

9. What's about him that you love so much?
I don't like this tag.

His CONFIDENCE. I don't know if it's just me but his level of confidence blows up to the sky and like Buzz Lightyear always say, to infinity and beyond! It's written all over his face. After a while from our 2nd meeting in Melaka, I decided to call him just to say hello. He went straight up and said he liked me eversince high school and would like me to be his girlfriend. Just like that.

He's romantic and loving and constantly showers me with hugs and kisses. I think Emmet has had enough when one day we heard him said "Cukup! Cukup!". LOL. We are not allowed to do that anymore in front of Emmet.

He's really smart in a dumb way. Not sure how to explain that. His knowledge about everything is vast. Yet he remains oblivious to the simplest things, like how to dry clothes. I love it when he talk smart. I no longer need to read the news.

10. What's abt him you wish he would change?
Let me know when he is going out instead of 'B, Najib takkan naik jadi PM la kalau bla bla bla...' then Bam! goes the door.

Put the toilet seat down. Squeeze from the bottom of the toothpaste. Do not overload the waching machine. Don't be a vampire on weekends. Emmet needs to be creamed after bath. Stop buying stuff. Stay out of my kitchen!

11. You will lose your mind and crack your head when he....
says "B! tengok ni..." when Emmet is misbehaving. Exactly like what you report to your Mom when your sister hit you or something, you'd say "Mak! Tengok kakak ni!" Aarrgghh!

12. You will smile through your eyes for the whole day when he.....
lets me take a long nap and do all house chores to my standard!

13. Complete the sentence below.
My love towards my hubby is as big as his. Hehe!

No further tagging please