Twin Pregnancy: Week 32

After monthly check up at the hospital.

Feels really heavy. Can't stand up less than 30 min.
Tummy is tight.
Chest is tight all the time. Feels like all organs upper chest are crushed.
Pelvic area crushed. Can't really hold bladder.
Braxton hicks more painful and chest feels really tight and crushed during it.
Walking time less than 30 min. Reduced speed to a step per 3 sec.
Toilet time hard to reach for cleansing.
Driving, cannot bend or tilt body to the front anymore. Seat must be readjust to the back a bit.
Feels a stripe grows every time lifting J.
Sweat a lot at vagina area. Must clean and change new panty twice a day.
Edema on both feet. Sometimes painful when walking. All the time.
Cracked heels almost gone. Cracked toes almost gone.

Balik Kampung Kota Bharu

In an attempt to take more pictures during pregnancy. Selalu tak de banyak gambar masa pregnant. This was in Kota Bharu with the kids, on the way to their Grandma's. Constantly fighting and screaming in the car. Emmet suka usik Sofia and Sofia memang suka menjerit. Sometimes I let them but sometimes I scold them. Mood orang mengandung memang macam ni kan. Nak pegi jumpa Daddy with his finally-out-of-workshop-after-two-years The Black Jane.

Pregnancy 4: Approaching 39 weeks

Here's us on our way from KL to KB after a long school holiday in June. Almost due by now. My tummy is growing fast. Super tired but managed to catch some brisk-walking session cum shopping at the malls. My feet hurts so bad but I needed the exercise since I did not get that much in KT. The kids got to watch How to train your dragon 2 with their Aunty. I got my follow-up laser treatment. 

Update for November

I will pledge to skip the usual excuse for not updating this blog for the xth time and straight away blog before this ipad is hijacked again by the prince and princess of the kingdom.

As you can see in the picture above, my kids are practically teenagers before I could even blink. I have not even succeded in getting rid of this baby fat and my bones are starting to crackle here and there. I blame facebook for all of this mess.

What have I achieved this year? Apart from having a baby girl and enjoyong fresh baby breath everytime she screams, I have succeded in exclusively breastfeeding Sofia and will keep it up until she is 2.5 years old, just like Emmet. I have also successfully cloth diapered Sofia and just starting to toilet train her. Very slow at that and taking my time. She still wears disposable at night and during long outings and travelling, but hey I saved a lot in diaper costs and trash. Though I didn't enjoy running water through her poo on her nappy with my head hovering the toilet bowl. Sorry, that was rather graphic, eh?

Emmet learned how to write his own name, Sofia, Mommy, Daddy. He is quite talented in drawing, he loves to draw. My sister brought home mountains of recycled paper from her office for him. Apart from drawing he likes making paper planes and such. He is very helpful around chores, with a few encouragement of course. He is very interested in the kitchen. He begs me to help making breads and kuihs and will always be beside my mixer when I am making cakes to meet orders.

As for myself, well I admitted I neglected myself for the past few years to make way for my husband and kids. But I will try to improve next since I get the feeling it would be some time before I get pregnant again, if ever. Losing some weight is the top of my list of course. I have also finally got to decluttering my flat and rearranging furnitures. And some decoration. Now I feel more calm and organized and will continue beautifying this flat until I'm satisfied. Kitchen is next!

Allergic or not?

This delicious treats found its way into Emmet's goody bag at a recent birthday party of Nadeen who just tuned 4. I was so excited about this packaging. Why won't I? Just look at the captions all over it!

Practically free from everything! At last.... something that Emmet can actually eat... at a party!

Emmet was excited too. 'Wow! Ape tu? Crocodile?!'
I gave him one koala-shaped cookie and he munched happily. I gave him another one, fish-shaped cookie. He took one bite. Then gave me a funny face. He sadly returned the other half to me and said, 'Mommy, allergic la...'


Guess what is he allergic to?

Pea flour!

Sorry ORGRAN! Better luck next time! Maybe you should recruit Emmet into your test team if you are serious about making allergy-free food.

Back to Oreo I guess. Sigh!

Happy 1st birthday, Sofia!

Feeding
Exclusively breastfeeding from day 1. Started her solids from 6 months. Loves rice, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, chicken, beef, oranges, pears, sweet potatoes, potatoes, plain water, fish crackers, dry rolled oat. Dislikes banana, papaya, fruit juice, bread. Allergic to eggs. I try to make most of her meals into rice porridge but she is just more interested in what the grown-ups eat. Now I have my meals standing up, otherwise she would climb onto me and beg at my plate. We try not to give in because she just had her first episode of bad constipation for about a week. She’s fine now but I’m trying to get her diet to improve.

On beastfeeding, she is feeding almost non-stop towards approaching her 1 year mark. It is exhausting for me. She has been having breastfeeding problems from day 1. Her mouth was too small, her latching was not so good, mastitis, blocked duct, and now…she is just one impatient baby. She would start latching on one breast, barely even working on getting the let-down and when the let-down was finally arriving, she decided she had waited too long and unlatched. And there goes my milk spraying all over the place. Even if she did manage to drink some milk, it would be just a few good gulps before moving on the the other side. She would go back and forth until she falls asleep or decided she has had enough.

She is very animated while breastfeeding. She just can’t be still. Her leg would push my legs and her other leg would be high up her head and her arm pulling on my hair or something. Or when I sit on the sofa, she would stand on the floor whilst latching on me and I had to bend down a bit. Sitting on my lap, tummy facing down, her butt sticking up on top, every possible position you can imagine, she is one creative baby when it comes to breastfeeding positions.


Playing & Interest
She loves Mickey Mouse! And soft toys. I downloaded the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse series into my handphone. I put her in the cot together with some toys and let her watch the MM Clubhouse whenever I want to do my chores, or a nap once in a blue moon. From then on she woud recognize Mickey Mouse whenever she sees one outside and goes “Aaahhh!” in her high-pitched tone.

She just loves playing and attention generally. Any silly game would make her beam in delight, especially if it involves Emmet and running. Emmet is her ultimate playmate. She enjoys me singing to her and loves the Wonderpets song. She likes watching shampoo commercials. Recently likes watching kids and babies on TV and in magazines. Also likes playing with cloths and fabrics. Shows interest in cooking but now she screams whenever I go into the kitchen. I think she knows she’s unlikely to get any attention once I go inside.


Physical
She was born 3.52kg. She was a tall baby. She maintains her slim figure throughout her first year. I lost hope of ever wanting to see her become a chubby baby like Emmet was. She is today 74cm high.

My first thought when I looked at her face after she was cleaned by the nurse was, she looked like Emmet! My family thought Sofia took after me. Rizal’s family thought she took after him. But now eveyone thinks she has my features more. She has become fairer from her 2 months age. I doubt she’ll be as fair as Emmet though. But she has a prominent nose and clearly-defined brows.


Motor skills
She sit up at 5 months. Can roll-over at 2 months. Started crawling at 7 months. Skipped the commando crawl. Started walking towards the end of 9months. Still walks like a drunken sailor, as my neighbour put it.

She can pick up small objects and put in her mouth. She can chew it for a long time and not swallow it. She just showed interest in holding a spoon to feed herself. She can wave at anybody’s command. She does hi-five with people she knows. She claps when she’s happy or wants me to sing. She hits when she’s crossed, toys or people, but in a very gentle way that is. She goes down from a sofa differently from Emmet. Like a lady if I may say so myself.


Hygene
Because of her eczema, she bathes once a day. I bathe her with either just warm water or with emollient cream like aquoes cream. I also clean her bottom with aquoes cream whenever she soils. I apply either QV cream, aquoes cream again after every bath on the whole body. Sometimes I apply La-Roche Posay Lipikar Baume on her face. She regularly needs to be on hydrocortisone as well for her frequent flare-ups. I stopped using Bepenthem, Drapolene or any other nappy rash cream since I find they didn’t help in improving anything for that matters. What’s more interesting is that, she very seldom gets nappy rash eversince I stopped using nappy rash cream.

She started on wearing muslin squares with nappy liners from less than 1month of age. She is only on disposable diapers at night and during long outings. Her skin cannot tolerate the disposable diapers too much though. They gave her rashes around the waist area. I clean her six teeth using clean and damp muslin squares.

Speech
She can say ‘CAR’ at 11 months! Once upon a time she was chilling at her favourite spot, the balcony and looking at the parked cars below the flat and said ‘Car!’. Other than that she babbles but not as much as Emmet was before. Sometimes she sings along with me in a song.

Sleep
She sleeps late. She would wake up around 8am. Naps at 12pm for about 2 hours. Naps again at 4.30pm if I’m lucky. If she naps at 4.30pm, she would sleep around 8pm or 9pm and woke up close to midnight, just about my bedtime. She might skip the afternoon nap alltogether.

She sleeps with me from day 1, so breastfeeding is easier at night. It is a good thing that we decided to get a king size bed before I delivered Sofia. I can sleep without touching the walls, finally!

Misc.
She is very attached to me. It is very hard for me to get anything done. When I do get a thing done, that just means that there are things that are not. I do laundry carrying her around, I dry clothes carrying her, I even had lunch carrying her. I do my baking carrying her around. These days, Mickey Mouse no longer does the trick. But there are days when she just wants to hang around at the balcony looking down on the stuff happening at the parking lot.

She smiles generously when played with and cuddles with me as much as she possibly can. She even has this ‘mengada-ngada’ look where she opens her mouth wide and shuts her eyes and run towards me with arms wide open.

All of us adore her, the princess of the family. She does wear a lot of pink, but most days she is just clad in Emmet’s baby clothes. She hates hats or anything put on her head.

I’m expecting more hardwork in the future but I will try my best in raising Emmet and Sofia since I don’t have any great ambition. My payers are they would give their utmost cooperation and listen to what Mommy says, always!

Happy birthday sweet Sofia!

Hydrocele

Farrah wanted details about Emmet’s experience with hydrocele, and for my reference too.

I first noticed Emmet’s scrotums were beginning to become less symmetrical when he was just over 1 year old. I didn’t take much notice of them since he wasn’t in any pain or having any other alarming symptoms. He was not even bothered by the condition.

Months went by and his right side scrotum were becoming larger until it stopped growing at a point. It was so significant I had to do something about it. You know internet could be a scary place to seek such information. I googled and the word HERNIA keeps popping up and hernia is scary. I almost panicked.

After a few days of research and asking medical student friends over to have a look (Thank you Kojek and Shira), I calmed down, but still took Emmet to the Temple Street Children’s Hospital A&E for further assesment. One look under the pen lights, the Doctor immediately diagnosed it as hydrocele. Which was good news for me since it was not hernia. Hydrocele is just clear fluid that find way into the scrotum through an opening which is supposed to close before a baby reach his first year. But when bits from the bowel find way into the sac as well, infection is most likely to happen which will lead to swelling, fever, redness and other symptoms. That is hernia. Information about hernia you can find here. I guess the Malays call it air pasang. I’m not so sure. But I heard it can be cured without surgery by traditional practitioners. I think it involves massage.

They booked Emmet for an appointment with the surgical team for surgery before sending us home, relieved. The surgical team saw us and set a date for a surgery. On the day of the surgery, I brought Emmet to the day ward. Saw the surgeon who interviewed me more, a nurse did another interview, and the anesthetist came for another interview, all asking more or less the same questions. I found out later that the same thing happens in hospitals in Malaysia. It is so annoying being asked the same question when everything was actually accessible through Emmet’s medical record. I guess annoying patient’s mom is a lot easier than studying a patient’s medical history..

That was why I was so upset when the surgical team sent us home because they are afraid to operate on Emmet due to his long list of food allergies. I was thinking the anesthetist looked unhappy when I asked him will he know what to do if Emmet happens to have a reaction during the surgery. I asked him a lot of question actually. I wanted to know the risk. So they asked me to complete a blood test for allergies at Emmet’s GP, and it can’t be done at that hospital. Which is unbelievable since it was after all, a hospital. To make matters worse, when I went to the GP, she didn’t agree with the hospital despite not being able to read the surgeon’s hand-written letter (Microsoft Word hello??? Or even Notepad!). So the hospital said the GP does blood tests and the GP said the hospital usually does blood test. I even had to ask for a letter from the surgeon before going to the GP. How would I know what to say to the GP. Unbelievable.

The GP was kind enough to sort it out for me. She immediately called the hospital and demanded to speak directly with the surgeon. The surgeon decided…………let’s wait until the kid is 2 years old because hey who knows the hydrocele will be magically gone by then! The hospital will call you back to set the next appointment. Unbelievable!

I never heard from the surgeons again.

Until I got pregnant and came back to Malaysia and made a new appointment at the PPUM for this. I had to go through everything again. But the surgery got called off the second time due to Emmet having flu-like symptoms. One thing I learned about hospitals especially surgeons, was when they say they will call you back, they actually mean you should call back and keep calling back until you can get to them. I waited one year for them to call me back with countless attempts to get them over the phone, only to be greeted by noncholant nurses who make empty promises. I had to call and make a new appointment at the paeds clinic and go through the whole thing again for the 3rd time.

Despite my bebelan about this, I am thankful to all parties who contributed to the success of the surgery, even if it’s a minor. Emmet’s scrotum is back to normal, and he is even circumcised.

Emmet's 1st Saloon Haircut

There we were on the eve of Raya at a saloon in Kota Bharu. I needed to get a haircut so badly since three months ago. But this time Emmet joined in the fun!

He was so cooperative. He stood very still throughout the haircut. He even fell asleep sometime in the middle of it all. My husband requested the stylist to suggest a look for Emmet. She replied "Rambut dia sangat kerinting loorrr... buat macam mana pun takde guna".

Hahahaha!

Sorry baby, you hair is so cute to the max they couldn't be made any cuter...

Allergies

After having had Sofia, her milestones didn’t excite me that much. I remember my husband and I were delighted at every sign of intelligence that Emmet portrayed in his milestones. I guess I just knew what to expect this time around. Unless Sofia starts to read a dictionary tomorrow, I’ll just watch her grow at her own pace.

Getting used to Emmet’s allergies has taken its toll on me. I am paranoid over reading packaging labels especially when buying food for Emmet. Most of the time I prepare his meal. But when travelling, I need to get instant meal and I’ve gotten used to trying out numerous types and brands until I finally settled on pure instant baby rice (read ingredients: rice, thiamine), original nestum and instant oatmeal. He was a happy baby when stuffed those. But Sofia has a different palate.

Now it’s déjà vu all over again when travelling with Sofia. It’s not like she has as many food allergies as Emmet, I was just too afraid to buy anything that Emmet is allergic to. One of the reason is I’m afraid Emmet might get excited over Sofia’s uncommon looking food and touch them, and there will be another episode of clean-up before you know it, I’ll be caught in a middle of a drama.

Oh I will humour you with the whole scenario. Emmet will touch Sofia’s food, he’ll scratch here and there (because he’s always scratching) and he’ll touch his eyes and elbows and the back of his knees as well as neck. Those places will go red. His eyes will be red before they are swollen. He’ll cough and wheeze and on the verge of an asthma attack.

Emmet with swollen eyes and face

I will notice the rashes. Stop feeding hungry Sofia. Grab Emmet to wash all contaminated places with lot’s of water, keeping in mind to scrub my hands first because I might just touch a bit of Sofia’s food just now. A shower for Emmet if necessary. Sofia will be abandoned at last place to be seen, screaming and crying for me or probably tugging on my pants by now. But Emmet is priority at that moment. After washing up, he will get two puffs of ventoline for his wheezing. Wait for 20-30 seconds for him to breathe in the inhaler. Then only I can continue with Sofia’s meal.

If Sofia was in a messy meal, I need to clean her up well as well as the messy area very quickly before Emmet goes touching the contaminated places. Sofia’s hands might come in contact with her mouth too. I need to remember what else she touches afterwards and clean those up too. Emmet loves hugging and playing with her so Sofia being clean from allergens is very essential.

Another dillemma of buying instant food for Sofia is of course the long list of ingredients that local brands (read Nestle) offer. I can only find imported products with the list of ingredients that looks believable (but ouch! Makes a whole in your wallet). Reading Nestle ingredients was a horrific and traumatic experience for me. Too long a list and I don’t even know most of them.

Travelling to Kota Bharu for raya recently was a perfect example on the hardship we endured on this issue. Emmet ended up peeking at Sofia’s instant food every 5 seconds and constantly hovering me with annoying repeated questions about the new discovery. The food we bought were not even to her likings. They ended up in the hotel mini fridge and Sofia ended up with a pair of swollen eyes on the eve of raya. I ended up cooking two batches of Sofia’s meal for 4 days stock at my IL’s.

We didn’t actually know if Sofia is allergic to the instant food since there were too many new allergens she was exposed to. It could be the cat’s hair at my IL’s, or probably the dirty hotel carpet or the heavily bleached linen. But she was put on anti-histamine by the local GP until her eyes were back to normal. The doctor and I agreed we were more bothered by her swollen eyes than Sofia herself. She wasn’t cranky and slept well during the whole night. She even woke me up with her cheerful smile, plus the super sepet eyes.

The sepet Sofia on raya eve

Maybe I need to get a small ice box so I can store Sofia’s frozen food when travelling. But I doubt my husband would favour an extra luggage that’s going to be pretty heavy. Until then, I would continue trying some more instant baby food on Sofia that I find appropriate. Must keep trying...

Hydrocele and Herniotomy (and Circumcision)

Us right before going into the OT

Emmet has been having hydrocele since he was about 1 year old. The first attempt at surgery was when he was about 2 years old when we were still living in Dublin. We were already at the day ward when the surgical team sent us back for allergy blood test. The second attempt was in PPUM, that failed too because Emmet was having flu-like symptom.

Waiting for calls from the surgical team both in Dublin and PPUM was like menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba. I made numerous calls asking the surgeon to call me to set a new date only to be greeted by empty promises to call back. After a year of waiting, I decided to make a new appointment with the surgical clinic. I took the earliest date possible, 1 September 2010, despite it falling in the month of Ramadhan. I did not want to delay any further.

We checked in on the 30th August for assesment and blood test. Then checked in again the day after, awaiting for surgery the next morning. My mom came from Taiping to accompany Emmet at night. I had to be home to take care of Sofia.

Emmet was calm throughout the whole ordeal. He didn’t even cry during the blood extraction. He was as cheerful as ever. I accompanied him to the OT and came out right after he was put to sleep, which took him about 5 seconds and a big wide yawn.

My mom, my husband and myself waited outside the OT for about 2 hours before the surgeon called me in. Emmet was still sleepy so I let him sleep and called my husband in to stay with Emmet while I care for Sofia at the waiting area.

Emmet returned to the day ward a while later and had to have a dose of painkiller which was quite a struggle. But he was bubbly as himself again when Daddy awarded him with a NERF gun.

Oh and he was circumcised too! That was the one that hurt! But he never cried. We convinced him to pee in the evening so that he didn’t have to spend another night at the ward. He was afraid but once we put him on the toilet seat, he couldn’t hold it much longer and found out the pain wasn’t that bad.

Emmet after surgery at home

His Daddy carried him to the car all the way from the ward. When we reached home he was playing and running again. He only dreaded applying the antibiotic ointment everytime after going to the toilet.

Happy 4th Birthday Emmet!

Me: What is your name?
Emmet: My name is Emmet Khairul Rizal! (clap clap clap)
Me: How old are you?
Emmet: 4 years old!

The picture above was taken immediately after his afternoon nap dengan muka mamainye. But as I mentioned a candle and an oreo, hence the happy face above...

We started off the day with me efficiently baking him his chocolate cake. Yes I made them quite often until I actually memorized the recipe and can mix it in 10 minutes, the time it takes to preheat the oven. That efficient!

Then I felt like making pulut kuning as per tradition of the malays. Why pulut kuning? I think it's because Pulut kuning is considered a special dish for malays back then when the westerners have yet to corrupt us with cakes and candles. Just felt like going traditional once a while.

But nowadays pulut kuning is so boring. So I style them up as in the picture below. Now we're talking pulut that I actually can't wait to put into my mouth! I only have ikan masin in my fridge and I was too many ingredients short to make rendang or serunding. Ikan masin will do. I saved four pices and sent the rest of 2 pots to my sister's office.

Then I brought Emmet to play at McDonalds Kota Damansara while having his lunch (bubur ayam McD). He was so happy playing with this girl, siap hold hands lagi. But the girl was a bit moody (hhmm...kecik2 lagi dah tunjuk. heheh). Well you could say the same with Emmet because when I saw him suddenly went chasing a kid and hit him, that's it, time out! He cried and begged me to let him stay and play. But a rule is a rule honey. Fair play!

Back at home he took a nap while I shot pictures of my masterpieces. We went to pick Daddy up and Daddy picked up Emmet's bicycle, a present from Aunty San Hung and Uncle Hairul! It was awesome. He had to cry before going to bed. Biasa la accompanied with other dramas. Uncle Lutfi pun ada awesome gift which is a tabung! Now Emmet can collect all coins lying around the house and keep them safely because Daddy is too loaded to be using coins. Maybe his wallet doesn't have coin zipper. How can I not know this? Well anyway, the tabung is a big red cat that meows at every drop of coin. Awesome isn't it!

And just this morning he suddenly said to me, "Mommy, Emmet nak pegi sekolah!"

Happy 4th Birthday Emmet!

Why did I decide to have children

My depressed neighbour comes to my place almost everyday, except on weekends. She is a 62 year old woman with no husband nor children. She is terribly lonely and longs for an immediate family. She wished there would be a person willing to live in her flat and keep her company. She felt she has made a mistake by not wanting a family when she had the chance. Now it’s too late.

I’ve thought about this when I was in college, single and apparently not interested in boys. Even though I have many friends, sometimes I did feel lonely. It’s a terrible feeling. So I decided I want a husband and a family with children so that I’ll never be lonely.

My DH once said one child is enough, he didn’t think he could handle more. But I don’t want to end up like her aunt, a single mum who recently lost her teenage daughter, her only child, in a car accident. Now she’s all alone, at least living with my IL. Though I truly admired her faith in God and she accepted fate with grace. I don’t think I could handle it as well as she did. My mom lost her husband, but she still have us children.

I want more children so that when they grow up, raya time would be so merry. When my children have their own children, it will even be merrier.

Most importantly, I want more children so that they can pray for me. I am a sinner. I hope at least with my children’s prayers, I’ll be forgiven and sent to heaven.

I love being a mom. Even now when Sofia is just 4 months old, I secretly wished I was expecting again. I love babies now. They just grow up so quickly. I get more emotional now when I hear news about child abuse and buang bayi. I almost wished those poor babies were sent to my doorstep so that I can take care of them.

My cousins used to send their kids to my aunt when they were working. Some left their children on weekdays and came back on weekends. I was in high school then. My aunt took care about 8 grandchildren and she was always complaining to my mom about how tired she was and how her children are not giving money for formula and diapers. My poor aunt. So I made a vow to myself to take care of my own children, insya Allah. I didn’t have the heart to burden my mom like that.

Maybe this entry is in conjuction with Mother’s Day recently. Being a housewife is so exhausting. But being a mother is so overwhelming with joy every day. So how can I let myself have a ME time when the thought of that alone feels like I’m committing a crime to my children. I feel as if having a ME time means neglecting my children. Let alone having a career where my children will be seeing their carers more than they see me. Maybe I am overprotective. But I believe in the saying, bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

Emmet will start school in another one or two years. I’m excited he will start a new milestone in his life. But I’m so going to miss him. He will be busy having friends and classes and might not want to see me that much anymore. His friends would be his idol then. So please God let me enjoy him to the fullest or another one or two years. Love you cheeky kids!

Tag of Husband

Tag tag tag. This is all your fault Farrah.

So here's the tag about the husband.

1. Where and when did you first meet your hubby?
Subang Parade 1998 (I think so). His cousin (who was my senior in high school) and I made plans to meet. He tagged along and I brought my friend, Yoes. Only then did I found out that he is also my high school senior.

2. Love at first sight?
No. Maybe for him. But Yoes and I agreed that he was kinda cute.

3. Who is he when the first time you met him?
A cousin of my senior who tagged along and seemed to just discover that McD chocolate sundae is good. He bought another one.

4. How long did he take to ask you out?
Maybe 2 years. I cannot remember. I declined.

5. First place dating?
I cannot remember! Arrgghh! Maybe at the hotel beside the Pudu Bus Station (sounds kinky). I was at the hotel for exam papers markings. I was a lecturer then.

6. How did he proposed?
Never. He just assumed we were getting married.

7. Special dates with your hubby?
1 January 2003. I decided he can TRY to be my boyfriend.

8. Changes that he asked you to do?
Waah! I hate this tag! Changes... He wants me to wear sexier clothes, makeups and be so girly2 as in high heels, designer handbags, flawless skin, red lips, blue eyes, accessories ok... Oh and public display of affection! Sigh! Salah orang kot dia ni.

9. What's about him that you love so much?
I don't like this tag.

His CONFIDENCE. I don't know if it's just me but his level of confidence blows up to the sky and like Buzz Lightyear always say, to infinity and beyond! It's written all over his face. After a while from our 2nd meeting in Melaka, I decided to call him just to say hello. He went straight up and said he liked me eversince high school and would like me to be his girlfriend. Just like that.

He's romantic and loving and constantly showers me with hugs and kisses. I think Emmet has had enough when one day we heard him said "Cukup! Cukup!". LOL. We are not allowed to do that anymore in front of Emmet.

He's really smart in a dumb way. Not sure how to explain that. His knowledge about everything is vast. Yet he remains oblivious to the simplest things, like how to dry clothes. I love it when he talk smart. I no longer need to read the news.

10. What's abt him you wish he would change?
Let me know when he is going out instead of 'B, Najib takkan naik jadi PM la kalau bla bla bla...' then Bam! goes the door.

Put the toilet seat down. Squeeze from the bottom of the toothpaste. Do not overload the waching machine. Don't be a vampire on weekends. Emmet needs to be creamed after bath. Stop buying stuff. Stay out of my kitchen!

11. You will lose your mind and crack your head when he....
says "B! tengok ni..." when Emmet is misbehaving. Exactly like what you report to your Mom when your sister hit you or something, you'd say "Mak! Tengok kakak ni!" Aarrgghh!

12. You will smile through your eyes for the whole day when he.....
lets me take a long nap and do all house chores to my standard!

13. Complete the sentence below.
My love towards my hubby is as big as his. Hehe!


No further tagging please

The joy of baking

And I thought I wouldn't have time for myself... this is what happened while Sofia was taking her morning nap...

I have always loved baking. Even when I was in Dublin, I would make my own bread because the chef made it look like it's so easy. Indeed it is... Plus Emmet loves it.

And in conjunction with my ambitious plan to lose weight and to save money, I made a tuna salad sandwich with my own bread.

And I thought I wouldn't have the time for all this with the two kids...

Damage:
500g flour
4 tsp instant yeast
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp sugar
50ml olive oil
300ml warm water
some dried rosemary/thyme/oregano whatever you fancy

-mix all and work the dough for a few minutes
-rest 20 minutes
-work the dough for a few minutes again with some flour
-oil and flour the loaf tin
-rest the dough in the loaf tin for another 20 minutes. score some lines if you like.
-bake in preheated oven of 250 celcius for 10-15 minutes

Cloth Diapering Sofia: Back to the old days

I don’t know how this is going to last. But at least it’s a start for me. These are the reasons I started cloth diapering Sofia.

1. I really need to save money.
2. I decided I want to be kinder to the planet, while praying the state government maintains it’s policy on water bills or makes it better by giving free water!
3. Disposable diapers are expensive in Malaysia.
4. Encouragement and support from my mother.
5. I thought it will be easier to dry them here rather than in Dublin.

I started off the 2nd week after Sofia was born. Or was it earlier? Hmm…can’t seem to recall. My cloth diapering might not be the same as the other ‘modern’ CD that has been the craze of young mothers nowadays. My kind of CD is way more traditional back to the days I have been brought up to by my mother. I just cannot afford the modern CDs now. Maybe I will try and buy one soon.

So this is really a super budget way to CD Sofia at least. But there are more super budget ways to do this. I saw on the net these people actually cut out old t-shirts to be used as pre-folds which is brilliant! I would go to that extend if I were in Taiping where all my family’s old clothes are still kept by my mom (who usually used them as kain buruk). Since I am short of them here in KD, I just bought a dozen of those muslin squares from Anakku. I already have half a dozen from Emmet’s unused stash before.

One-way liners
Throw in a pack of 5-piece of these tie pants or ‘seluar getah’ as my mom called them. Also by Anakku.

And a couple of snappi…

And this is how I do it

Yea, I know... I could do it more neatly but this isn't the time. I usually use up about 6 or 7 of these pre-folds per day. I change her right after she woke up from her nap, change her again before her next nap. Here’s my weakness – I still use disposable diapers at night for Sofia. But hey, we can’t be perfect at this.

When my mom was around, she hand-washed everything right after Sofia was changed. I couldn’t possibly do that. So what I’m doing now is dump all wet and dirty nappies and liners into a pail, tie pants into another pail. I throw away the dirty liners anyway.

The next morning after I woke up, I straight away put all the nappies and liners into the washing machine and rinse and drain once with plain water. Then I set the machine to regular wash and put about ¼ of a cap of detergent.

If I have the time, I hand-wash the tie pants. If I don’t, all tie pants go into the machine for a while with a little detergent. Line dry at the balcony for about an hour in the sun and reuse them!

I feel great. I have been meaning to do this for a long time. And thanks to Sofia and my mom, I hope I can keep doing this and improve myself. I still have a long way to go but it feels as good to take that first step. And with Emmet finally diaperless now, I don’t have to continue feeling guilty most of the time I throw away a dirty nappy into the bin. A good pat on my own shoulder.

This is Sofia

Fresh from my tummy

Emmet visiting at the hospital

Emmet kacau while breastfeeding

The day Sofia was born

It was on Thursday, 7 January 2010. I was already two days overdue, but I knew it will be soon, probably in another day or two. But I was so hoping it would be Thursday since nothing went on on Wednesday and Rizal was supposed to go outstation from Thursday until Saturday evening. And I highly doubt that I am able to wait until Saturday evening. I didn’t want to be alone without my husband in the labour room.

I woke up at 3.45am having the urge to go to the loo as usual. And also due to the back ache. After a visit to the loo I went back to my bed with a few of those strong menstrual cramps. I sat on the bed trying to be quiet while easing off the pain. But Rizal woke up asking how I was. I just waved him off to sleep again saying it was just those dummy contractions I’ve been having for the past 5 days.

Him: Dah nak letak beg dalam kereta ke? (Been asking this every time I had those dummy contractions at night)
Me: Blom lagi, lambat lagi kot. Tapi rasanya macam beranak hari ni la. Tido dulu la.

I was planning to go back to sleep but when I stood up I saw a stain on the bed, in the dark. So I sniffed at it and it smelt like blood. I went out and turned on the bathroom lights to examine my undies. Sure thing it was some bloody show. I went back into the bedroom and woke Rizal.

Me: Ok Rizal, boleh la get ready sekarang. Dah ada darah keluar, so kene pegi hospital ni. Tapi Lily nak mandi dulu.

The cramps were exactly like quite bad menstrual cramps, but I was still ok about it, it didn’t bother me much. So I went for a quick shower, thinking I might not have the energy to shower after I deliver and I need to shower because I have been sweating heavily all night and I just want to feel fresher.

Woke up my mom and she recites some Quran verses to a glass of water and asked me to drink it which I did obediently. While waiting for my husband to get ready, I paced around the tiny flat reciting some verses from the Quran and some zikir to go with them. At 5am we were off to the hospital, which was about 3 minute drive from our flat. The emergency reception was empty so the staff were happy to admit me. They even insisted I relax on the wheelchair when I told them I was ok to walk. In fact I did want to walk to help ease the cramps. But I gave in to their request, feeling a bit odd sitting in the wheelchair.

I was immediately admitted to the labour room. The lovely staff were introduced and I was asked to change to the hospital gown. Some chit chat went on while they were wiring me to the CTG and stuff. I politely declined all painkillers and pain reliefs saying it didn’t help me with the 1st child. But still I had to decline the gas twice when the nurse wasn’t convinced I can stand the pain.

The contractions were getting stronger. I lost track of time since I can’t see the clock behind me. But there came to a point when all I wanted to do was breathe in and out fast. And I had to turn to my side to ease the cramps. I was also holding on tight to the handle beside the bed, waving off Rizal’s offer of his hand. But I can still talk through the contractions.

The nurses were starting to panic. They were supposed to change shifts at 7am. The doctor hasn’t arrived yet. And I’m already 5cm dilated. So the nurses kept telling me not to push yet (like I can control that!).

Nurse: Ada rasa macam mau push ka?
Me: Sekarang ada sikit-sikit
Nurse: Ah you jangan push lagi ok. Take deep breath in, deep breath out ok. (to the other nurse) haiyaa where is Dr. Fidak? Have you tried calling her again?

At the third urge of pushing, I really can’t hold it much longer. I told the nurse, “Nurse, now I really feel like pushing”. With my body still on my side, try as best as I could to hold it, legs closed together, I tightened my vagina muscles, but still a gush of fluid went out of me.

Nurse1: (to nurse2) Aiyoh, she pushed…
Nurse2: Looks like meconium. Try calling Dr Fidak again lor… (to me) You don’t push now ok.

Then Nurse1 was showing Nurse2 this amazing technique to ease the pain and help fight the contraction so that the baby’s head will not come out. With one hand she held the maternity pad tightly against my vagina, and with the other hand she rubbed the bone of one side of my bum in circular motion. I tell you it felt soooooo gooooood… Beats all the other pain reliefs. So a nurse did that to me while waiting for the doctor to arrive, which was shortly afterwards.

By the time the doctor arrived, I really felt like pushing so bad. While the other nurse was preparing the bed and the others for the delivery, the other nurse was… I don’t know what she was thinking.

Nurse: Eh you take in some gas la ok girl. It will make you feel better. Less painful. Ok ha… (went to a cabinet and retrieved the tube and mask).

I thought I made it clear I didn’t want any gas or pain relief. But I was so concentrating to the contractions I just couldn’t say anything at that time.

Nurse: Nah husband, you help her with the gas ok, put at her mouth.

(There goes RM30 for the gas, which I inhaled only once and indeed, it did not help at all.)

So I bring myself into position. The doctor recites some doa. I tried pushing once. Nothing came out. I tried the second time, concentrating on my perineum area. It was a long push and a long contraction. I squeezed in another push in that contraction and the head came out. I was so relieved….

The rest of the body slides out, I didn’t even have to push for it. The baby was placed on my tummy and I could see a beautiful long and slim baby girl crying out for me. This time I got to touch her and enjoy her fresh. Unlike Emmet, I was too tired to even look at him then. But this time, I really enjoyed the moment.

I ended up with an episiotomy which the doctor took care of while the nurses took care of the baby. I chatted with Rizal and the doctor while waiting. I felt tired yet excited that it was all over and in a very short time. The whole pushing took like 5 minutes.

But after I was stitched up. I felt this mentrual cramps again. It was like a really bad cramp where you can’t stand the pain and I immediately asked for a painkiller. The doctor gave me a petadine shot and I dozed off shortly after. But just for about 20 minutes. They need to get me out of the room to the ward. The nurse offered to change the pad and put on my undies. But instead I asked her if I could take a shower first. Which seemed to surprised her and caught her off guard. She insisted on helping me change into fresh undies and for me not to get off the bed for I could pass out.

So, still in the same bed, I was pushed from the labour room up to the maternity ward. My baby was brought in shortly by the nurse for her first feed. That’s when Rizal and I gave her name….Sofia.

I thank God for her, for my husband who was there beside me all the way, who said he was proud of me, for my mom who took care of Emmet and prayers from dear friends who showed concern throughout my pregnancy. I am so blessed…

Pregnancy No. 2: Nesting at day 5 of 39 weeks

Oh I thought I would never be the one that falls into this so called nesting instinct. But yesterday I found myself clearing up mountains of stuff from the top of two big boxes in my bedroom, getting rid of those boxes, vacuuming and assembled the baby cot. That alone took me 4 hours!

Then I washed a dozen of the newly bought Anakku muslin squares, folded them neatly as well as baby clothes. I had to put them all in a big paperbag since I’m out of space for the baby’s stuff. I planned on getting a small shelf or two for the baby’s stuff later today (if I have the energy).

After that, back in my bedroom to rearrange the three giant suitcases (thank God for the wheels!). I had to put a board on top of the suitcases to make them look like a table top so that I can put the table fan and other stuff on it.

Then I suddenly can’t stand the mess in the kitchen. We just bought a big 4-slice toaster which I must make a space in the kitchen. Emmet loves toasted bread and I kept having to get the toaster from on top of the shipping boxes, onto the already crowded kitchen counter, and plug it off and put it pack on the boxes. Otherwise I won’t have any space to do my chopping. So yesterday I rearranged the kitchen counter (that includes a lot of cleaning first from the dust and grease). Now the toaster fits!

I was so exhausted but couldn’t stop doing things. Made dinner of ikan singgang and some stir-fried veges after a shower.

I’m still planning to go for a car wash today but it is just too hot now. And I can’t go at night since I would be too exhausted by then.

I need a nap now…

Pregnancy No. 2: My 8 Favourite Things

Ikea pillow
That’s the cheapest you can get. Even though it’s a bit warmer, the softness and springiness feels really comfy at times like these. I love the feeling of my head being burried in this pillow despite having to wash it often due to my excessive sweating.

Kaftan
I wear them everyday at home since they are the ones that seem to fit me during these times. Plus it’s the easiest one-piece, making it easy for me to visit the loo, which happens very often in a day.

Bra extension
I didn’t realize about the existance of a bra extension until my 2nd pregnancy. I guess my ribcage expands greater compared to my 1st pregnancy with Emmet. I tried lots of maternity bras but none of them fits me. So I found this bra extension at Fabulousmom and bought it and can’t live without it now. Makes me breathe more easily eversince I wear them.

Ribena
I guess this is my worst cravings so far. And I think I am addicted to it. There’s this one time when I’m out of Ribena for a few days, I felt so uneasy and kept thinking about it all the time! I made plenty in a jug and keep it in the fridge and keeps refilling the jug when it’s about to empty. But I don’t mix it sweet like the ones selling in shops (they are very sweet indeed). I like it more diluted until I taste more of the sourness. Can’t live without this too…

Buah lai
I MUST eat fruits during this 2nd pregnancy. I wasn’t much of a fruit eater but this time I just can’t resist fruit stalls and fruit carts everywhere. And my favourite is the Japanese sweet pear. Been buying them almost every week at the TTDI pasar malam, 10 for RM10 and they are very big. I also love water chessnut and papaya when I visit the small carts.


Black Motherclub maternity pants
Bought this when I outgrew my ordinary pants and Rizal kept pestering me to buy a new pants, and my other maternity pants just seem so uncomfortable. Found this at a maternity shop in Mid Valley Megamall, can’t remember the name though. Damage is RM89! I just bought it within 5 minutes in the store since I have been in and out of many stores and can’t find one that I like. Loving it eversince because it’s stretchable and out of the T-shirt material, soft, adjustable waistline and most important, it’s V-shaped in front. i just don’t like anything sticking on my tummy this time.

Baggy tee
This is the only top that’s soft and does not stick on my tummy. I guess I’m just not much of a fitted top fan. Makes my tummy itchy and warm. So I hijacked a lot of my sister’s baggy tee from the day we landed in Malaysia. Drives attention away from onlookers as well compared to when I wear my nice maternity top.

Bar stool
Been nagging Rizal from my 4th month because it’s really tiring to stand up for even 5 minutes in the kitchen to cook. So bought a high wooden bar stool at Giant nearby with RM50 or so. Made my kitchen time so much easier, and I just have to reach a bit further to my left to wash stuff in the sink, and I don’t even have to get down the stool for that! All I have to do is get everything from the fridge, lay them on the counter, get my stool and start chopping. Everything else is within reach.

Pregnancy No. 2: 36 weeks

I just discovered on my 4th antenatal check-up that I gained 2.2kg in 2 weeks. That’s how fast my tummy grows during these last weeks and am trying hard to watch my weight (yea right!) as I want to control the weight of the baby so it won’t be as big as Emmet 3.82kg birth.

The doctor was quite encouraging saying that the baby is already engaged and I probably won’t even make it to the next appointment which is due in 2 weeks time. That, I leave it to the Almighty God and won’t comment on the time. All I can do now is pray for a smooth delivery.

My hospital bag is packed, documents are signed and ready for admission. Mom is coming in 2 weeks time. Everything is pretty much ready now that I have learnt how to compromise with the mess in this small apartment, at least until the new baby learns how to pick things up and shove them in its mouth. But now, I just couldn’t be bothered. I refuse to let petty things get to me. Otherwise I know I’d go crazy and moody. Everything is everywhere, toys are everywhere except the kitchen and the bathroom. Laundry is on the sofa. Catalogs are on the floor, newspapers in lots of places. You can even find a clothes peg in the fridge and I am calm about it.

I still cook, clean up the kitchen, do the dishes, do laundry, vacuum once in a while, tidy up the room once in a while. Mostly, I spend time managing Emmet and play with him. I’m afraid I won’t have this kind of playtime with him anymore with the new baby coming. I cuddle with him more on the sofa watching cartoons with him when playing is just too exhausting. He plays really hard and ganas, always bumping into my tummy, so I like cuddling more.

Sometimes I feel so light but most of the time I feel like a whale. My bum hurts when getting up from the sofa, my hip hurts when I sleep, my back hurts even more. I must nap after breakfast for 1 hour and Emmet is so understanding about that, he plays by himself and doesn’t bother me. But once I’m awake, he immediately wants company.

Once I had this conversation with Emmet asking him if he wants to drink my milk when the baby is out…

Me: Nanti ada baby Emmet nak susu Mommy? (pointing at my breast)
Emmet: Bukan…..Susu baby…
Me: Emmet nak jugak tak?
Emmet: Tanak…kinyaaaammm…(patting his tummy)

Hahaha…ape lah Emmet!